Things Change
by Butterflyshadow
Summary: Kirsty and Kane are ten minutes away from Summer Bay and ten years from the time they saw it last. Will they be able to face what they left behind? Chapter 3 finally up now!
1. Default Chapter

Chapter One  
  
The car had slowed down and stopped in the car park of the local service station. The long curvy road that they had been following would take them eventually to the beach, Summer bay. When they had first started out it had seemed so far away. It would take them days to get there so it didn't seem as nervewracking, safer somehow, because of the distance. They had fun planning the journey, it had seemed like a holiday at first. And in front of the kids, they spoke of it that way. Kirsty told them of the beautiful beach where she had spent her adolesence and met their daddy. She spoke of the people there as if they were a nice group of friends, like she was still missed by them and kept in contact. Kane would give her a glare, he didn't like lying to the kids but he didn't want to tell them the truth either. He had decided long ago that it was best they forgot about Summer Bay. Of course, what he did would always be with him but he didn't want it to be with the children. He didn't want to talk about the place in front of them, let alone visit it. His wife, however, had formed other ideas.  
  
They were sitting on a bench, the four of them, Kane's arm was draped protectively over Kirsty's shoulders while she sat swinging her legs, watching the traffic pass by them thoughtfully. The children sat with their golden heads close together, they were leaning in to look at KK's Gameboy and the afternoon sun made the hair on their heads glisten, giving them sparkly halos. They were both sucking lollipops which Kane had bought them from the newsagent there, to quiet the whinges and cries which came from being couped up in a stuffy car for the long journey.  
  
"You know...." Kane whispered to Kirsty, "We could go back....It's not too late to change your mind."  
  
She shook her head, laughing. "I know you don't want to do this but we have to....If not for Jade then for the kids. I'm not letting them become the dirty little secret hidden away somewhere from the rest of the family. It's alright for us to hide but I am not about to let my kids suffer."  
  
"I know....I feel the same, Kirst'.....P'raps you could go with the kids. I'll drop you off and then go back home. I'll come and pick you up once the wedding is over."  
  
"No." she said, sighing determinedly and gripping his hand. She loved his hands and the way they locked into hers so perfectly. They made her feel so safe and secure. "I'm not going without you and you're not going to wriggle out of this one. I thought you were ready to face this?"  
  
"I am but......"  
  
"But nothing. We are going. No arguments."  
  
Kane gave up protesting and squeezed her hand a little harder. It was part of the reason he fell in love with her, that determined, strong spirit of hers. You could see it when you looked into her eyes sometimes. It made him feel strong enough to do anything. Strong enough to sort himself out and accept the crap that has happened in his life and why it happened. If it wasn't for her, he knew he wouldn't be sitting there with two kids and a life and ahead of him. He'd also found that if you looked hard enough into those eyes he adored, the strongness would melt away and she would cling on to him because she needed him too. He wondered if anyone else could see it, he hoped not, it made it more sweet being a secret, something she only shared with him.  
  
"What are you talking about?" KK asked suspiciously, looking up from the game.  
  
"Boring grown up's stuff." Kane replied, reaching for a lick of his son's lolly. "Watcha' playing?"  
  
The talk trailed off until Kirsty could barely hear it anymore. She wondered for a second what the hell she was doing back here after all of this time. She remembered the last time that she had been anywhere close, when she had sped off with Kane, only fifteen years old, leaving her family and everything she knew behind her for a life with the man she loved. Finally free. Since she was a child there had been something inside her, something wild. Her family thought she just got over-excited about things, that it was normal. But it hadn't worn off and had followed her into adulthood. Kane made her feel like she belonged. There was no greater feeling, we spend our lives looking for a place to belong, Kirsty had found it when she had fallen for her man. It wasn't just the forbidden fruit, the excitement of being on the run, she loved Kane so much that it ached whenever he had to leave her for a while. She loved every little thing about him, even the dark side of him, the things that his Dad and brother had given him. Her family had forced her to make a choice and she chose him. She had no regrets about that but now that she was grown and had children she started to think differently. She wanted them to know where they came from, where they belong. Which was why she was making this journey. Yes, it was going to be hard. Yes, it was going to disrupt Dani's life again and that was the last thing anybody wanted. But this wasn't about want, it was about need and she, Kane and their children needed to do this. Jade needed her twin there on her wedding day. And the others in her family, maybe they needed it too, they just couldn't see that yet.  
  
She stared out at the road which was to take them away from the life they had built for themselves and straight into what they had been trying to escape from. They were ten minutes away from the bay, ten years from the time they had departed. They were on the edge of something, she didn't know whether it was acceptance or disaster, but she knew they had to find out. The longer you stand on the edge, the harder it is to jump.  
  
"Mummy, how long are we going to stay here for?" Lilly-Anne asked with a weary look on her four year old face. She was fiddling with her ear, which she always did when she was tired.  
  
"We are going now, cutie!" Kirsty said, leaning past Kane and KK to ruffle her daughter's dark blonde hair. She glanced at Kane who stared nervously back. He would never admit he was scared, he always had to be the tough guy but Kirsty could tell what was going on underneath just by looking at him, "Come on..." She said, to him as much as to the kids, "It's time to go."  
  
Kirsty reached into her pocket and pulled out the crumpled piece of paper that lay at the bottom beneath an empty packet of chewing gum and the caravan keys. She also had a piece of paper with the number of their caravan. Kane and Kirsty were always so forgetful. Once when they went on holiday they couldn't find the hotel they were staying in and couldn't be bothered to look very far, so they ended up sleeping on the beach. Kirsty now always wrote down where they were staying so that she wouldn't forget but she usually lost the paper too so there wasn't really much point.  
  
The new owners of the caravan park had been nice. A young couple, about the same age as Kirsty and Kane. It was still wierd, walking in and getting themselves a caravan like they were just holiday-makers and had nothing to do with the caravan park or the bay. No connection except a simple holiday. They hadn't bothered to tell them that Kirsty used to live there and her parents once did the job that they were doing. There didn't seem much point in dragging it all up.  
  
They hadn't unpacked. The cases were on the floor of the double bedroom. Kirsty ought to be doing it right then but she couldn't resist having a little lie down on the bed before getting started. KK and Lilly-Anne had already started the "Who-gets-the-top-bunk" argument so Kane had gone in there to sort it out. He was good at calming down their arguments but they quickly turned into tickling sessions so Kane could be a while.  
  
Her eyes ran over the neatly hand written words on the sheet of paper. It had been neatly folded and tucked into a pink, scented envelope. The moment she had seen it coming through the letter box at home she had known it was from her twin. They spoke on the phone often but Jade still insisted on sending letters. Kirsty wasn't so keen, she had never had enough patience to sit still and write long letters. She did enjoy receiving them, espeically when they came with photographs, which they nearly always did.  
  
Dear Kirsty,  
Thenk you for the letter you sent, along with all the pictures. They're all on my wall now, it's certainly brightened up the dining room and bedroom! I am glad you liked the ones I sent to you. I wanted to send you everything to do with the wedding, so that it would feel like you were here with me, helping me to prepare. I know you don't like that sort of thing, "yucky-girlieness" you used to call it. Well, you certainly looked VERY girlie in your wedding photos!! Very, very pretty indeed! I wish I could have been there to help you get dolled up. Maybe even have been your bridesmaid!!!! I loved the pictures that you sent of KK and Lilly-Anne too. They are such little angels and you should be very proud of them, which I know you are!! It makes me wish I had some pictures to send you of my children . I keep hoping that it will happen one of these days. I know I have to be patient but it's very hard sometimes. Things over here are good. As you have probably guessed, I am up to my ears in wedding arrangements at the moment. I want everything to be perfect for our big day. It makes me wish sometimes that we could so what you and Kane did and have a little quiet affair, just the two of us but maybe it is better this way. Seb is doing everything he can to help me and of course Mum ,Dani and Leah are always on hand (Leah's been a star, she knows what I'm going through, remember her "Big fat Greek wedding"????!!!! ) It's times like these, family celebrations, that make you realise just how scattered our family is. Mum and Dad aren't living together and that makes me sad because I always imagined them being together when I got married and I miss you and Brodie so much!! To think that you won't be there gets me all worked up but PLEASE don't think I am trying to make you feel guilty because I know that it's impossible for you to come back and we will meet up after the whole thing is over. Please call or write soon. I am missing you a lot right now.  
Lotsa love, hugs and kisses,  
Your ever-loving twin,  
Jade  
xxxxxxxxxxxx  
  
It was so comforting to get letters and phonecalls from Jade. It reassured her that the world back in Summer Bay still exsisted and she had a link to it, if anything happened to her family, she would know. Jade hadn't always written and phoned. At the start, Kirsty didn't know how she felt about the whole thing. The last time she had seen Jade, she had given her that hard, confused look. Like she couldn't ever even begin to understand her, let alone forgive her for all the hurt she was had caused Dani and the family. There wasa huge gap between them. Kirsty didn't think that she would ever get to reach across it.  
  
When Kirsty found out she was expecting her second child, she was desperate to tell someone from home the news. It had broke her heart that her KK was growing up unnoticed by the family. They didn't even know that Kane Kyle Phillips exsisted and he was their Grandchild, their nephew. One night she was feeling particuarly low and missing her family so she called Jade's mobile. She hung up as soon as someone picked up. But she kept on doing this until she got the courage to speak. At first Jade had been cold, thinking Kirsty mean for leaving them, begging her to come beck because Rhys and Shelley were fighting and everything had turned upside down. But gradually, Jade began to accept that Kirsty wasn't coming back. They weren't the same girls that had moved to Summer Bay together. They had grown up and Kirsty had a family now. They began rebuilding that close sisterly relationship that they had before. Although Jade never really accepted Kane, she hardly ever mentioned his name in letters and calls, she was willing to understand that Kirsty loved him.  
  
"Hey lazybones," Kane walked in, feigning annoyance, "You were supposed to be unpacking, remember?"  
  
"Sorry," She quickly folded up the letter and tucked it into her pocket, she knew that he didn't have anybody who cared enough to write him letters and she didn't like to rub it in his face, "I got distracted."  
  
"By what?"  
  
"By this huge bed. It's so comfy!" She bounced up and down, he flopped down beside her and grabbed her chin, pulling her in for a long kiss . "Certainly is that." He said, after they had parted.  
  
"I ought to go and see Jade. It's getting late and I wanted to go today."  
  
"Welllll...." He glanced down at his watch, a birthday present from Kirsty. "You could always leave it until tomorrow."  
  
"You....." She flicked his nose, playfully then her face turned serious. "You know we have got to face them don't you? All of them. Even Dani."  
  
"I know. And I'm gonna do it. For you."  
  
"No, Kane. It's for the kids, not me."  
  
"Alright then. For you and the kids. 'Cos I gotta say this 'Kirst, when we left here I gave you the choice. I was gonna throw you out of the damn car and leave. But you talked me 'round. You chose me 'Kirst and I'm so grateful. You knew I couldn't give you the life you wanted but still you sacrificed everything for me and I'm gonna show you now that I can do it too. I'm gonna face them all and you're gonna get all the happiness you deserve."  
  
"I love you, Kane Phillips." She said, tears stinging in her eyes. Then she kissed him once again. He was wrong about one thing. He said that he couldn't give her the life that she wanted, she wanted this life. Her, him and the kids. She wouldn't swap it for the world. She was about to tell him but she looked at him,deep into his eyes. She decided there was no point. Sometimes you can tell people things without opening your mouth to say a word. Then she thought of her Mum, Dad and Dani....Sometimes all the words in the world can't make any difference to the way people were feeling. There isn't anyway of explaining that will make it any better.  
  
"We really ought to go to Jade's." Kirsty repeated.  
  
"Do you want any help, Jade?" Seb called from the dining room.  
  
"No, it's okay. You stay in there, entertain our guests!" Jade called back laughing.  
  
She filled the sink with water and washing up liquid, ready to dump in the four plates. She liked this, having their own little family meal in their own little house. This was her favourite time of day, early evening when they had just finished dinner. It was even better when they had company. This was the sort of life she had always wanted. But still, there was a lot missing. There was still that empty feeling in the pit of her stomach sometimes.  
  
Carefully, she pulled her diamond engagement ring off her finger and placed it on the window sill. She kept glancing at it as she dipped the plates into the water. She loved Seb, she really did, but there was still that emptiness. She longed for the house to be full of voices like it was tonight with Dani and Scott visiting. Her thoughts were interupted by someone excitedly knocking on the door...... 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two  
  
The caravan was deathly quiet. The children were now both finally in bed. KK was tucked in tightly on the top bunk with his photographs (taken with his own camera) lined up in special frames on the wall beside him. Lilly slept on the bunk below, her hair slightly tousled from the day's activities. At least her freshly washed face was clean for once. Lilly had a habit of getting dirty easily. Five minutes after a bath she would come running into the garden with soil on her face and in her hair. It was always a battle to get her clean.  
  
Kane looked around thoughtfully from the sofa where he sat. He could put the TV on or maybe even the radio but he couldn't be bothered. The silence, however, was slowly getting to him. He remembered when he was a kid, if he had been locked out again, or was lying alone in bed, his body aching from the last beating, he would listen and in the distance he could hear the sea, slowly rocking back and forth like a gentle lullaby. He liked it, it made him feel less alone and would send him to sleep, dreaming of owning his own ship one day and travelling the whole world in it. He listened that night in the caravan and he could hear it very faintly but it didn't bring him any calm. Maybe only kids can find any safety in those sort of things.  
  
He sighed, longing once again for home. Their home which they had worked hard to live in. All that time spent in dingy bedsits and apartments, watching cockroaches creep across the ceiling, all those days slaving at some dead-end job, one after another as they used to move around constantly, it was what they had dreamed of, what had kept them going, their very own home. Kirsty had always got a misty look in her eyes whenever they cuddled up close and planned it. And he had promised himself he would get it. No matter what it took he was going to get her that house. And he did.  
  
It wasn't very big, certainly no mansion, but it was theirs.There were two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a living room and dining room joined together and a tiny kitchen out back. The garden was just a few metres of lawn but it was big enough for the children to play in and that was all that mattered. They saved up for weeks to buy all the furniture they wanted which made it all the more satisfying when they got what they wanted. They decorated the walls with photographs and the children's drawings. It was as if the house was alive and everytime they left it, they left a little part of themselves there with it.  
  
He loved the way he would come into work and find the house full of life, something was always going on, some argument or issue. Lilly would come running down the stairs waving some drawing or new possesion to show off to him. KK would be tugging on his leg, anxious to tell him some story from school. Kirsty would be in the living room, watching television or talking on the phone but she would always drop everything to come and give him a hug and a kiss, ask him how his day went and tell him about some cow who was winding her up, or who she had seen on the way home. In the evenings they would take the kids to the park, or stay in and watch the television. Night was the only time that things were quiet but it didn't matter because he would be holding Kirsty tightly, watching her fall asleep in his arms and listening to her breathing becoming softer. When you have spent your life trying to survive, when suddenly it all slots into place and becomes routine, you apreciate every moment. You would give everything to keep it that way. Kane had even gone to counselling, anger management, anything to get rid of the things that threatened his life with Kirsty and the kids.  
  
He sighed again and looked down at his watch for the fourth time that evening. 8:30. Way too early to be hitting the sack but it had been a long day. Besides, there was no telling when Kirsty was going to return, she and Jade were meeting up after ten years, it could be late. He left the living room light on for her and went into the bedroom and began to get unchanged. When he took his top off, he caught sight of his back in the mirror. It was bad enough the scars that they had left on the inside, he also had these slash marks to remind him constantly. He could be who he wanted, the perfect father and husband, but no matter what it was always there to remind him, scratched on to his skin. There was no escaping where he came from, no escaping the past. He knew that, he only had to look into the mirror to see the Phillips in him. No amount of councelling could take it away. Returning to Summer Bay and battling to be accepted was going to be tough but it was nothing compared to the battle he had been fighting for years and finally won. The battle to accept himself.  
  
.....................................................................  
  
It hadn't been the teary, happy reunion both sisters had been expecting. Kirsty was shocked and angry as she walked away from her sister's home. Only four days ago the twins had spoken on the phone and Jade had been so excited about her coming. It had took a lot of persuasion to get her to that point. At first she had gone on about how she hadn't written the letter to force Kirsty into visiting and she should stay home with her husband and family. Then she had tried to get Kirsty to come alone and leave Kane behind. This had led to a huge argument, with Kirsty saying if she wasn't willing to welcome Kane then she wasn't willing to welcome Kirsty and maybe Jade hadn't moved on as much as she had first thought. Jade said this was not the case, she was just worried about Dani but of course Kane had a right to return to the bay, of course the children deserved to have grandparents and a loving family. She had promised to tell, or warn, the others about the 'Phillips arrival.  
  
She couldn't the understand the way that Jade was acting. It wasn't like she didn't know they were coming. It wasn't like they had just took off and into the bay to wreck her life and wedding day. She folded her arms, holding on to her stomach tightly. Fear had nestled itself at the pit of it. If Jade had reacted with such shock and disgust, what were the others going to be like? This was going to be the biggest mistake of her life. Just when she and Kane had got through the councelling she was going to ruin it all. She had thought this was for the best, thought that it would be the final step but she had been wrong. So, so wrong.  
  
"Wh...What are you doing here?" Jade had whispered sharply, panic evident in her widened blue eyes. "You're not supposed to be here yet!"  
  
"We are only a day early, Jade. We thought we would set out today 'cos it's such a long way and we'd be travelling all day anyway."  
  
"You can't be here!" Jade had said, close to tears. She had looked worriedly back into the dining room.  
  
"Does it matter? It's only a day, for christ's sake!" She was getting annoyed now.  
  
"Yes it does matter because I haven't....." Her voice trailed off, she saw the anger in her sister's eyes.  
  
"You haven't what? Oh God, Jade. Please tell me you've told everyone."  
  
Jade shook her head, biting down hard on her lip to hold back the tears. She had meant to tell them, she really had. It was just a question of finding the right moment. Finding the right moment to tell Dani that the man who had raped her was returning with her sister and their two children. Telling her father that his worst enemy, the person he was convinced was responsible for tearing his family apart was back in town. Telling her fiancee that his old flame was returning and was going to be at the wedding.  
  
Voices floated in from the dining room and Seb called out, asking Jade who was at the door. "You have to go." She said to Kirsty desperately. "You have to go now."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because Dani and Scott are here. Please Kirsty just go!"  
  
Jade breathed a sigh of releif and at the same time guilt filled her body. It gripped hold of her heart so strongly that she had to hold on to the kitchen table to steady herself. She hadn't planned it like this at all.  
  
"Jade?" Seb was standing in the doorway, "Are you alright?" His eyes filled with concern.  
  
"Yes." She quickly put on her smiley mask and let go of the table. "I'm fine."  
  
"Who was that at the door?"  
  
"Oh...It was.....It was just next door. They wanted to see if our television's working because they can't get any picture on theirs."  
  
"Oh right." Said Seb, uninterested. "Come in here, Dani and Scott have got something to tell us."  
  
She followed him back into the dining room, trying to look curious but secretly hoping that all this would be soon over and done with so she could figure out what to do. It was all such a mess and she knew it would have to be sorted out quickly before things got even worse. She would have to get the whole family together and break it to them. She could see all the rows breaking out in her head. If only she had time to tell them all individually like she had hoped but there was nothing to be done. That was the way it had to be.  
  
"What is it then?" Seb asked, once Jade was sat down. "What's your big news?"  
  
Scott put his arm around his wife's shoulder and looked down at her lovingly. Dani had grown more beautiful than she had been as a teenager. She was even more pretty when she was so happy. The happpiness made her glow. She pushed her red hair back behind her ears and grinned secretively at her sister and brother-in-law-to be. She looked up again at Scott, sharing their sweet secret again.  
  
"You see....." She started, giggling, "The thing is......I'm pregnant!"  
  
..................................................  
  
Kirsty was getting madder and madder as she walked. Here they were, trying to stop all the secrets and they were lying and hiding again. She couldn't take it anymore. She had just as much right to be here as anyone else and she wasn't going to run back to the caravan and hide away. She spun around defiantly and marched back in the direction of where she had come, Jade's house. 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three  
  
A wine glass clattered to the floor and smashed into a thousand pieces. Nobody jumped. It was as if everybody was expecting it. Maybe it was perfectly normal for people to smash expensive, "only-for special- occaisions" glasses at Jade's parties. The puddle of champagne slowly travelled across the floor, leaking into the gaps in the floorboards. For a few moments, nobody moved to pick up the pieces.Everybody was silent, staring into the doorway where the figure stood. Jade eventually got herself together and began retrieving the pieces of glass. Anything to keep busy, distract herself from what was going on. It was like something out of a nightmare.  
  
Dani stood still, her hand frozen where she had been holding the cup, before she lost control of what she was doing and the glass had slipped to the floor. She couldn't even open her mouth to say that she was sorry. A wave of emotions was washing over her, all of them so strong that they brought her tears. She threw her arms around her sister and sobbed on to her shoulder. She didn't know the reasons behind Kirsty being there. She didn't know anything except that it had been ten long, empty years and she had missed her sister so much, despite everything that had happened.  
  
"I had to come back."Kirsty explained, looking at Jade, whose hands were fluttering wild with nerves. "I'm sick of hiding away."  
  
"Wh...What do you mean?" Dani stuttered, the tears pouring down her cheeks. "Have you left Kane?"  
  
Kirsty opened her mouth to answer but Jade jumped in before she had a chance. She said something about talking about all that later and the most important thing was to sit down and calm down. Kirsty felt anger boiling inside her stomach. Why did Jade seem so determined to hide the truth? If there was one person that Kirsty hadn't been worried about facing it had been Jade. In her letters and phonecalls it had seemed as if she had really, truly begun to accept and forgive. It was because of her that they were back in the bay in the first place. Now, she was the one who was jumping around nervously, she was the one who was desperate for Kirst to keep her mouth shut. What was her problem?  
  
Dani was still gripping hard on to her sister's hand. When it had become obvious that Kirsty wasn't returning and no amount of searching would find her, her parents had sat down and told her the real reason that Kirsty had ran away and who she was with. It had totally disrupted her life. She had started sinking lower again, feeling similar to the way she had felt after the rape. She shut out all of her family and friends, they had been the ones who had kept the secret from her. Her mind fought with itself, trying to understand Kirsty, trying to understand why it still hurt so much inside. The years passed by and she had begun to think she would never get over it, that her mind was full of these inner battles that she would never defeat. It was only when she had met Scott, that she had started to get her life sorted out again. The two of them had travelled the world together and with that time of growing up, and Scott's help, she had made up with her family. The two of them moved back to Summer Bay and Dani got a job reporting for the local newspaper. She gradually made her way up to editor and she had Scott had been married. Now, they were expecting a child and everything seemed complete but she had still wondered about Kirsty. Jade had told the family she was in touch with Kirsty and she, Kane and two kids were living somewhere in the country but no more. Dani wasn;'t sure if she wanted to hear more. But sometimes her eyes had fell upon a photograph of Kirsty or her mind stumbled on a memory she had locked away somewhere. And she would miss her with the same strength she had when she had gone. Now, she was back. She looked so much older and sophisticated with her hair tied back that way. She smelt different, her skin felt different. Dani sighed, she had obviously grown and matured so much and she hadn't been around to see it. But she was back now and she had that angry, hurt look in her eyes. Something had happened. That's why she was back. Something had hurt her. Kane. Dani felt sick. She prayed with all of her heart that Kirsty wasn't feeling how she had felt. She had to be there for her now. Even if she felt terrified inside, she had to help her sister.  
  
"Dani was just telling us about her and Scott," Jade said desperately, "They're going to have a baby."  
  
"Jade...." Seb gave her a angry glare. This was hardly the time to be telling her that, it was obvious something bad had happened with Kirsty and Kane. He turned all his concentration back on to Kirsty. His heart was beating loudly in his ears. She was still as beautiful as she had been when he had last seen her. And his heart had ached for so long, remembering that moment. Remembering the pain of losing her to someone he knew would hurt her and he couldn't protect her from it. He had wanted nothing more than to hold her in his arms. He knew he could have made her happy. He knew Kane Phillips would only bring her pain. And here she was, back again, her eyes portraying some inner hurt. He felt like he had lived this moment before, heard this uncomfortable silence, in some long forgotten dream. First love stays with you forever, makes some invisible scar on your heart that will be tender as long as you live.  
  
"Dani had us gathered here espeically to tell us the news, didn't you, Dan?" Jade continued, ignoring Seb and sending messages to Kirsty with her eyes. "We were all having a glass of champagne, to celebrate the good news."  
  
Kirsty picked up on these messages. They angered her and she wanted nothing better than to start talking like she had planned but somehow she couldn't get the words out. She looked around at her family, Jade's eyes darting around and fingers nervously twirling around her necklace. Seb looking at her so intently, as if waiting for something, Scott glancing worriedly at Dani, fearing that their new happiness would soon be over again. And Dani, clinging on to her arm like she was the younger one, tears streaking her dark cheeks. This isn't right, she thought to herself.  
  
"There's loads we need to catch up on." She said, rising from the table, "But it's late and......" She was about to say "Kane and the children are expecting me." but something held her back.  
  
"Oh no, Kirsty. Please don't go." Dani said, standing up too. "You have only just arrived and you have got nowhere to stay. You can come and stay at our place."  
  
"I have....."  
  
"She's staying at the caravan park." Jade said quickly.  
  
"You mean...You knew she was here?" All eyes went towards Jade. She fumbled around for an excuse.  
  
"Look," Dani interupted, saving Jade, "Will someone just please tell me what's going on? Kirsty, have you has something happened with Kane? That's why you are here isn't it?"  
  
Kirsty looked around again at those desperate faces. It was Dani she stared at the longest. She never meant to hurt her. She never meant to wreck her life. There are somethings that you just can't stop from happening. No matter how hard you try you can't stop yourself from doing them. No matter how many people it was going to hurt you had to go through with it. It was how she had been with Kane, she had loved him too much to give him up. It was how she had thought she had felt about coming back here. But how could she hurt Dani again after everything she had already done? She had thought it would be different, she had thought things might have changed but Dani still wore that desperate, lost look. The same she had worn on the day Kirsty had come home from school to find her Mum and Dad going crazy and Dani sitting on the stairs, sobbing uncontrollably.  
  
"Yes.." Kirsty forced the word out of her. Her fists clenching to hold back tears for another lie. "Yeah.....Me and Kane have split up."  
  
...........................................................................  
  
"I just don't get you, Jade." Seb whispered into the darkness of the bedroom. He turned away from her, pulling the covers tightly around himself. "We promised, no secrets and no lies. First oppurtunity you get you hide the truth. It was obvious that you knew all this about Kirsty. You didn't think it was nessesary to tell me about it. What does that make us look like? What does it make me look like?"  
  
"You don't understand." Jade sighed, "I tried to tell you she was coming back but I just couldn't bring myself. We had just got ourselves sorted out and I didn't wnat to ruin that. I didn't want to ruin anything."  
  
"You're not making sense." He gave up, he was fed up with trying to get to the reasons behind her deception. It had happened before. They had both kept things back to protect each other. He couldn't preach about it. Only a few months ago, Seb had lost his job at the hospital. He didn't want to tell Jade, who was so happy in their new home. He kept the truth from her and pretended to go to work everyday. When she had found out she went ballistic, saying that she didn't want to be protected and they couldn't continue to lie to each other. Now she was doing it. He didn't have the energy to get out his words. Maybe there were no words to be said anyway.  
  
Jade tossed and turned late into the night. Guilt churned into the bottom of her stomach on top of the burning hole of emptiness. A couple of days ago, everything had been so perfect. No maybe it hadn't, it had just seemed to be. Now, even the pretence of happiness was crashing down upon her and soon there would be nothing left. The last time she had been truly happy was fading further and further into the past. She began to lose faith that she would ever feel that happy again. She held up her hand and gazed once again at the wedding ring that had been so lovingly placed on her finger. It was supposed to be a symbol of love and committment to each other. All it symbolised to Jade was sacrifice and sercurity. She glanced again at her husband-to-be who was sleeping like a baby now. She sighed and climbed out of bed, wrapping her silken dressing gown tight around herself. In the kitchen, she fumbled around and found her mobile phone. With shaking fingers, she dialled the number she knew so well.  
  
"It's me....." She said, when his voice answered. "I need to see you......I just need you right now..........Okay, no...No....I understand. That's okay. Can I see you tomorrow then? Tomorrow morning on the beach......Okay.........You know I love you, don't you?"  
  
............................................................................ ..  
  
"Are you sure, babe?" He asked for the thousandth time that morning. He was watching her tie back her hair, the morning sun bouncing off the mirror and making her screw up her eyes. He had Lilly-Anne on his back with her arms around his neck. KK was sitting at the table scribbling in a colouring book.  
  
"Yes." Kirsty sighed, "It was the biggest mistake I've ever made coming back here."  
  
"Yeah, I know you think that now but you were so set on coming before....."  
  
"Before I thought things might have changed. But it's obvious they haven't. And I'm not lying about you."  
  
"Okay." Kane sighed, he couldn't deny that it was all he wanted to be back home in their house but he didn't want Kirsty to give up on something that she had been so desperate to do. She wasn't a quitter. "Well, I'll take the kids down to see the beach before we leave, yeah?"  
  
"Alright. I'll get everything packed up while you're gone."  
  
"Okay babe" He kissed her forehead. "I'll not be long. I've only got to meet somebody down there and let the kids see the sea, then I'll be straight back." 


End file.
